An improvisation based on a liberating experience of "surrendering."
ONE NIGHT IN NOVEMBER (Surrender) 1998
[From the album Heartland Diaries]
I had been working intensely on an album for a third-party and was apprehensive about submitting the music due to previous negative experiences with the same employer. A lot was riding on it for me. Was this going to be another failure, another rejection?
However, I finally worked up the courage to mail the CD of tracks to them, deciding I would accept the outcome whatever it would be, suspecting they already had someone else secretly working on the project. So it was a huge step of faith for me.
When I came home after mailing the CD, I sat at the digital piano with a deep sense of relief, which was unexpected but welcome. And so I clicked RECORD on my computer and started playing, and this music came out, as is, one take from start to finish. It was a memorable evening.
My music was not retained for the project, however I had already processed that rejection and made peace with it. That experience of full surrender is imprinted in the music, which was a significant event for me, almost like a visitation from above.
Every time I listen to it, it brings me back to that moment. Deeper than words. From beyond myself.